Masha's rabbit hole

troubled rabbit in lovesick?!

(n.b. this is not necessary my case)

Let's say, your loved-one (eg. your partner) died suddenly. You loved her/him dearly.
what are you supposed to do now?
Weep sorrowfully for her/him for a while? Could you be proudly say that you loved her/him deeply or you still love her/him?
Is it right to move on to depend on someone else? Take it as an opportunity to meet new people and start new life? Can the person left behind possibly love the new partner as much as they did before? Or the deceased one is the best and always the best and that's how it would bug and hold back to move on?
What about the promisses that they made for their eternal mutual love?
If that person decides to move on, do they have to forget the loved-one? Can they promise again faithfully to a new partner for their true love?

My favorite K-1 boxer, Andy Hug, passed away on Aug 24th, 2000. He was in Japan and I was in England back then. I've never seen him face to face, but I knew that his Karate practice place was near my house...
My friend tried to explain that to like someone and to love someone is totally different. I know each of us has different definitions to it, and I've never actually tried (or had) to think about the difference. Without thinking about my real feeling seriously, thought they were more or less the same. My friend says she doesn't believe in whole marriage thing. Neither do I. If the true love exists, there's no need of such a ritual to tight up nor possess each other with rings.
Back about Andy, I like him but to be honest, I don't love him. There's nothing wrong with it. I want him to have my love for him to know that I care, but that's different from whether I love him or not in the different sense. I wanted him to beat the disease with his champion golden heel drop...
I was so shocked when I heard this news. That was the time that I had to think about death. Both physical death and mental death.
If I were to love him truely, would I be shocked and crying all day? And be closed to myself which leads to mental death because of Andy's physical death? Would I die after for someone else's death? Is that right thing to do?
Time would solve the sorrow. It would.
I was nothing to him, but would it be wrong if I eventually forget even his name? I'm afraid that he'd disappear. I'm afraid that I'd disappear.

Posted by masha at November 7, 2003 3:54 AM