Time passes so quick. Last entry dated before I came back in Chicago for this quarter, and I'm having final exams this week meaning it's already ending in a week time.
Why am I writing this...
Especially when I don't have enough time...
Maybe BECAUSE time is pushing me around,
I'm writing this...
I've been happy since the very beginning of this year. I have been at the status of ordinary happy. Nothing too crazy. I think I have learned how to deal with my life better. Major depression that I've been talking... was pretty much left in the past.
I couldn't be like this by myself. I tried hard to be independent. What I learned after all? You have to know how to depend on others to be independent. What do I mean?? There's limit what you can do all by yourself. Being independent doesn't fully mean to be capable of doing everything by yourself. Everybody is given the same amount of time, 24 hours a day. Time... has limit. It's up to you how to use the time. Being among other human beings, you always have to deal and coorporate with others. Some people can do it well, some can't.
I have this friend, who is obviously suffering from some mental status that I don't know exactly what it is called generally. but it's obvious that something is wrong, I started to feel I'm already involved.
I have to do something.
What am I? What can I do?
Sometimes, this suffers me too. As A friend, what can I do?
If I ignore the situation, I shall have responsibility as well if the situation gets worse. I have to be smart. I have to read minds and act accordingly. Can I do that?... To be honest, I don't even know.
I have seen many people. and I kind of know what can happen...
When I think of my aunt, it kills my heart. What could I have done?
Seeing my friend around, how can I support this friend to be independent, or to be confident of living... I'm about 3 years younger. I only know the world only as much as I have seen. I'm no expert. It upsets me to think if i can't do anything. Is what I am doing helping this friend?
Perhaps my existence even bother this person?
...feeling powerless makes me think a lot, otherwise, I'm happy.