I have a global connection class. The class started off with explaining the economics, which is basis of the globalization concept. The professor is from Cuba who also lived in Mexico for a while.
Now my stomach feels like upside down, totally messed up after having that class this morning. I heared that the class was difficult, but I found it pretty much with common sense, so it's kinda interesting and I like that class. Only, the teacher loves to call on student and they give excellent answers but me. I tried to tell the professor that I've some trouble every morning coming to class even though I like that class.
This morning, I left my dorm earlier to talk to him, but the way I woke up was really bad and my heart was pumping hard, so I just told him that I wanted to talk to him after the class.
We've had 4 classes so far and I hadn't been called on yet. I had a feeling that I'd be called on today.....and I was.
I said "I don't know," even though, I knew what I could've answered. I just got a little upset and my eyes got wet.
I feel so awkward of myself. I've been having the same problem for three years. Almost every teacher used to write on my grade card that I need PARTICIPATION otherwise I'm doing fine. It's the only factor that lowers my grade for a lank, but I believe I have enough knowledge and stuff and I just can't raise my damn hand and answer the stupid question!! This makes me look STUPID, but I can't help it. For those people who think particapation is the easiest way to boost their grade, to them I look such a fool. I know that. Now I'm so depressed over my weakness, which I don't really wanna admit that I do have this weakness.
I was depressed during the class, but after talking to the professor, (by the way, he's really funny and nice, which is the another reason that I like the class about.) I felt relieved and am feeling much better after saying this out right now.
(*^_^*)
thank you guys for listening to this.
こんばんわー♪シカゴはだんだん寒くなってまいりました。
夏服から衣替えをしだしたのですが、歩きながらすでに震えています。これはまた脂肪をつけるしかないってかーっ？(V)o￥o(V) (This was Cat's idea that I'm not originally from winter country and that I should gain more and put some human natural rayer, which is basically FAT, in order to get over the winter with windows wide open as she's from Norway and she thinks the room was too hot for her.)
Explore Chicagoというクラスの先生が日本人なのですが、会話する時は英語で丁寧に話してくださいます(^_^.)その先生曰く、シカゴの季節はおおまかに言って二つ・・・冬と道路工事だそうです。。。ほら、冬は雪とか積もちゃって、寒すぎて道路工事できないから、冬でない間（つまりは夏）中に一気に道路工事をしてしまうという、Jokeだそうです。 偽(笑)・・・でも、なるほどねっ☆って思った。
Also, ich bin so müde, aber habe so viel Hausaufgaben zu machen...(~_~) Gehe jetzt nach Bett und Schlafen!(^o^)／ Das Hausaufgaben kann warten. Habe ich morgen alle frei.(^_^.)
I've been studying English since I was at junior high in Japan. It's been quite a while, and people who know me believe that I can already speak English like a native language. Y'know what, I'm still at the level which you can't really say what you wanna say. Perhaps, it because I wasn't in English speaking country, and too many languages were surrounding me and couldn't concentrate on specific one. The main purpose of my leaving my country was that to learn English. It's been 3 years since then. I understand quite well when others speak, but when it becomes my turn to speak, I just can't. I get frustrated, and also, it loses my confident. On the other hand, during those 3 years, I learned some German, Italian and some other phrases in different languages.
It's been a month since I arrived in Chicago. The things are changing. People who knew me before recognize this change quicker than I realize myself. I'm so afraid that I might lose myself completely. I guess it depends on where you learn, but I started thinking like English is a dangerous language. Or it's possible that I'm only too weak to hold myself tight.
America is an immegrants' country. They all have different backgrounds, and that is how they created the community. I've seen so many Wanna-Be American people who carry different flugs on their backs just arrived in US.
Confessing the truth, I had to throw away or hide part of me in order to speak this language. I can't believe it, but I guess that's what is happening now. Japanese is too different from what I had to face. Don't get me wrong, though. I've not a bit of wish to cut myself from Japan. Rather, I wanna be connected to it all the time.
There's a story about a Puerto Rican girl. She knows she had different background than other American girls when she moved to New York young. But it was her father who didn't want her to show that she was from other place. He was afraid to get discriminated or segregated from Americans as they live in their community. He gets her TV and forbits her to talk with other Latinos or buy stuff from Latino stores.
See that. That's what happens here. Simply, I'm not American and I'm not supposed to enter US as the US government is making stricter laws for immigrants... Or I'm in America, and I'm supposed to act American, which I don't want to.
If this was happening in Japan, I believe, I get sad. As myself being Japanese, to be honest, I don't wanna get interrupted by people from oversea who come to Japan and do stuff there. Here is the critical, controversial point. I also believe that international relationship is necessary and can't ignore it. As each countries are getting closer, they all started mixing their nationalities. It destroys the original nature at the same time creates new mixed nature.
I've been trying to give an answer for similar questions, I guess I'm getting to it. It's not always too easy to be open-minded and accept whatever you see. I've been having difficult to show emotions. It's a gift to judge the world fairly in a way, I'm missing a little human part.
And,
I don't wanna be the wannabe. I'm unique but I hope for being an ordinary Japanese girl,
my parents' girl and pass on to my girl.
今日は日本語の授業に参加してきました。ＤｅＰａｕｌ Ｕｎｉ．では、外国語として、フラ語・イタ語・独語・スペ語の他に日本語があります。わたしのイタ語のクラスは生徒が9人で教室が半分くらいしかうまってないのに対して、今日参加した日本語のクラスは大きめの教室でもうまってました。レベルも上級者編らしく、今日の新しい単語が“首脳”とか、“交通規制”とかでした。わたしも新しいことを習いました。
日本では一昔、「わたしには弟がいます。」の代わりに、「わたしには弟があります。」と言ってたそうです。
Hallo. Er wird fast ein Monat gewesen, da ich zu Chicago flog. Das Wetter hält noch gut irgendwie und wirklich wünsche ich dass Winter nicht noch kommen. Er ist die beste Zeit des Jahrrechtes jetzt gerecht - nicht zu heiß, nicht zu kalt. - Chicago ist schön. Ich habe mir es sehr gern!! Nun, zwar vermisse ich Europa. Duh! Ich kann nicht zu gierig sein!
Also, muß ich jetzt weg gehen!
I've learned....
That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
I've learned....
That when you're in love, it shows.
I've learned....
That just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.
I've learned....
That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
I've learned....
That being kind is more important than being right.
I've learned....
That you should never say "no" to a gift from a child.
I've learned....
That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
I've learned....
That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
I've learned....
That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I've learned....
That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
I've learned....
That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned....
That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
I've learned....
That money doesn't buy class.
I've learned....
That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I've learned...
That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned....
That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?
I've learned....
That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned....
That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I've learned....
That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I've learned....
That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I've learned....
That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
I've learned....
That there's nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.
I've learned....
That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I've learned....
That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
I've learned....
That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
I've learned....
That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I've learned....
That I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one more time before he passed away.
I've learned....
That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I've learned....
That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I've learned....
That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.
I've learned....
That when your newly born child holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
I've learned....
That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
I've learned ...
That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation.
I've learned....
That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
These words that I like are not neccessarily my words, but I should appreciate that I have someone to share this with(>_<)
Warm hugs from me to whom read this thru.
学校が水曜日に始まって、初めての週末。授業は４つだけだからそんなにきつくないけど、なんだかお疲れ。高校は本当に大変だったのにな・・・。数学の授業をとりたかったけど、高校の時にとった大学の数学の単位と最初に受けた数学のレベル分けテストに合格してしまい、数学の授業を学校がとらせてくれなかった 涙）
わたしの学校は全体的にアジア人が少ないように思える。生粋の日本人っこにはまだ誰も会ってない。小学校の時,塾に一緒に通ってた美咲の今行ってる学校にはもっとアジア人がいるらしけど。
The first weekend since school started on Wednesday arrived. I'm taking only 4 classes, which actually are maximum classes can be taken without paying extra. It's not hard at all, but I'm kinda tired. High school was really tough, though.
The teachers were mean and there was hardly anybody who was sane, most of them lost temper and it was almost out of control.
I really wanted to take math class this year since it's one of the subjects which would boost my GPA, but school and my schedule didn't let me. I've already earned some credits from AP Calculus AB exam back in high school and I've also passed the math placement test. (T_T)
I don't see many Asian people at DePaul university. I haven't met any genuine Japanese here yet.
My friend, Misaki, from Jyuku school back at 5th&6th grade goes to the University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign. She told me there are a lot of Asian people over there. Perhaps, at DePaul, they don't have many Asians for undergraduate, but a lot for graduate school.
やっと寮のネットにつなげれた★私のルームメイトはアメリカに5歳から住んでるというグアテマラの同い年のコ。気も合うし、今年は楽しくなりそう(#^.^#)
学校の食べ物はあまり好きじゃないっぽいけど、徒歩7分くらいのところになんでも入ってるすごいジムがあるから、いいと思う♪
学校が9月10日に始まるまで、2日間のオリエンテーションがあるだけで他にやることなく暇だけど、寮の周りを歩きまわってみようっかな(^o^)／
I'm in a dorm now. My roommate is from Guatemala who lives in US since she was 5 years old. She's really nice.
I don't like the food on campus very much. There's a big gym within 7 min. walking distance, so that's GOOD.
I have nothing much to do other than 2 days of orientation until September 10th, the day my school starts. Maybe I should walk around and discover Chicago(^^♪